eight days till my cancer surgery
Eight days till my Surgery
WOW! I cant believe I will go under the knife in just eight days. I am nervous but I continue to say my positive affirmations and visualize myself in my healthy, cancer free body when this is over. I am feeling great and stronger than ever. I have discovered some amazing new vegan foods to eat like raw vegan ice cream from coconut milk, vegannaise, Kamut yeast free bread and so many other delicious vegan foods that I don’t miss meat, sugar or dairy at all! I continue to juice daily, lose weight and ride my bike about four miles daily. I am a regular at my local health food store, Cream of the Crop, and everyone there is wishing me well when I go in for my wheatgrass shots each day. I am in great shape right now, my skin is soft, my eyes are clear and bright and I know I will survive this surgery and recuperate quickly.
It was an amazing week when many of my musician friends, Sue Palmer, Paul Loranger, Sharon Shufelt, Jonny Viau, April West, Pete Harris, Melissa Hague and Steve Wilcox recorded with me at PH studios in Escondido. We recorded some standards I have always wanted to record; At Last, I got it bad and that aint good, He’s Funny that Way, and Joe Liggins I gotta right to cry (which was one of the songs I used to strip to as a young dancer in the early 80’s). We will go back in on April 16th to record a few more tunes before I enter the hospital. I felt like it was important to do this, because if something did go wrong in surgery, (which it wont!!!) at least I have recorded some of my all time favorite songs. I know everything will be fine but it felt so special and heartwarming to have my musician friends rally around me and donate their talents and studio time for free. I am one lucky girl.
I continue to be humbled and awed by so many beautiful gestures of friendship and love from you. I have received so many cards (many with checks!) letters, emails and phone calls. Pay pal gifts continue to stream in. I am overwhelmed with so much to do and have over 400 emails waiting for an answer. Thank you for your patience with me right now, and thank you so much for your huge hearts and your tender words of love. The benefits are listed below that will help me pay for my living expenses while I am disabled. There are so many bills to pay and now that I cancelled my European tour, I am in debt for the airline ticket money the Finnish promoter sent me. I owe about $8000 in hospital bills that Medi-cal will not pay, plus another 5k to the Finnish promoters. Not to mention the lost wages of the band members who all lost work when I cancelled. The money raised at these benefits will go a long way towards helping me recuperate in peace without worrying about how we will survive.
My long time friend, singer, songwriter, musician Chris Gaffney is also suffering from liver cancer. Go to www.helpgaff.com to help him. And my friend, Ann Rabson from Saffire the Uppity Blues Women, is facing serious cancer challenges of her own almost at the same time as me. She and I have already started discussing collaborating on some upbeat cancer survivor songs when we are both healed! I feel stronger knowing that many of my friends are suffering right along with me and I know we will all prevail and be better and stronger for having gone thru this experience.
I really feel like on some level, cancer has been a blessing. (I know, ask me again when I am groaning in pain in a hospital bed!) But for the first time in my life, I have really started to think about what I eat and when I eat it. I have always been proud to be a big, voluptuous gal, and have always been active and healthy in my 200 lb plus frame, but now I am really conscious of what I am eating, and what it is made of, and where it comes from. I believe I may have chosen this challenge on some cosmic level, so I could learn from this experience and improve and I know I have been given an opportunity to grow spiritually from this fight. Maybe I will start a workshop for cancer patients to learn how to write songs and journals to help them cope with their illnesses. Music is such a powerful healer and maybe that’s why this has happened to me. I will use the cancer experience as a way to make my memoir even more powerful and meaningful. I will really be able to lay claim to the Toughest Girl Alive title now! I know my optimistic nature is coming in handy during this challenge. (Notice I refuse to say Im sick!? I am just health challenged right now!) And it has been so helpful to know that I am not alone and that I have so many beautiful, caring people in my corner. So many of my friends around the globe are organizing benefits for me. Thank you all so much for your continued love and support. I feel your healing thoughts and energy and I hope you will keep me close to your hearts on April 18th.
Don’t worry about me people. Youre not rid of me yet!!
Big Big Love and Gratitude,
Candye Kane Cancer Benefits (more to come in San Francisco, Seattle-Tacoma and Portland area)
April 14 Phoenix, Az/Rhythm Room/ Bob Corritore, Sistah Blue, Pete Pearson and friends
April 18 Candye surgery/ UCSD Thornton Hospital/ La Jolla California
April 20 San Diego, Ca/ O’Connells/ Joey Harris, Lady Dottie and the Diamonds, Mojo Nixon, Paul Kamanski, Behind the Wagon and friends
April 20 Huntington Beach, Ca/ Perqs/ Carlos Guitarlos, Janniva Magness, The Blasters and friends
April 27 Hoboken, New Jersey/ Scotland Yard/ Gina Sicilia and friends
May 4 Austin, Tx/ Antones/ Rosie Flores, Margaret Moser, Susan Antone and friends
May 5 San Diego, Ca/ Humphreys/ Chet Cannon, Toni Price, Sue Palmer, Joey Harris, Anna Troy, Billy Watson and friends
May 13 Arlington, Va/ The Claredon Ballroom/ www.gottaswing.com
May 14 San Diego Ca/ The Casbah/ Joey Harris, Years around the sun, Mojo Nixon Steve Poltz and friends
May 15 Hartford Ct/ Black Eyed Sallys
6/21 Boulder, Colo/ Oskars Blues/ Jodie Woodward and friends
6/21 Dortmund, Germany/ FZW club/ Baums Bluesbenders, Tom Vietht, Limited Edition, Dirty Blues