cancer pity party, pastrami and the handys

Pity party

The ups man came and brought a gift to me today.

“Cancer patient” is how it was addressed.

I didn’t ask to be a cancer patient and it still sounds weird sometimes to mouth those scary words. C-A-N-C-E-R- P-A-T-I-E-NT. Yikes.

So I had a pity party. I cried and cried hard. I even sobbed a little. Why me?
Theres a million jerks who deserve cancer and Im not one of them.
I have so much to live for -
So much more to accomplish.
Im not finished yet.
I have lots more work to do. Finish my book. Make a country record. Make a gospel record. Make a Spanish / French language record. Make a 50’s vato oldies record. See my boys get married. See my grandbabies born. I have way more LOVE LOVE LOVE to spread around this wicked plant.

I cried so hard, my eyes are all red and my contact lenses are all cloudy. I
Felt nauseated again today. This is my third bad day in a row. I keep waiting for the good day but it seems elusive. I took a qui gong class this morning and it was really good. It was really blissful and I had a smile on my face the whole time as I connected to the white light energy. It was really beautiful. But then when I came home, I started having a stomachache. For breakfast I had kashi with soy milk and a banana. I had three teaspoons of hemp seed with the cereal. For lunch I had three shots of wheat grass and tuna from cream of the crop on 16 nut and rice crackers and an asian pear. But my stomach was churning so much I thought I would puke. I am tired of being sick. I feel like I cant get anything done. That’s the hardest part. I have so much I want to do and only a few good hours when I feel well enough to do them.

I smoked a big bowl in my vaporizer. Thank G-D for weed and especially for medical marijuana. Weed is the only thing that makes me well enough to put my pain aside and do something in spite of it. I cant stand pain pills because they make me constipated, give me headaches and cotton mouth. I only took pain pills the first few days I was home and then I quit them. They were causing more pain than I needed. Sometimes the pain is really weird and sharp. It comes suddenly in weird spots all over my abdomen. Its irratic. Everything I eat seems to disagree with me unless its miso soup or some other kind of soup. Even carrot- beet juice made me feel really sick yesterday but then who knows whether it was the juice or not that made me sick??

Anyway, now that I am stoned, ENOUGH pity party! I am going down to the pier to walk while I feel well enough. I know the wind in my hair will feel good even if I do have a bellyache. I don’t want to give in to any more negative thoughts. I am doing amazingly well. It has been just 19 days since my surgery. I am strong and can get up and out of bed without trouble. I can drive. I can walk - slowly. I can cook. (I am making a chicken in the crock pot.) . I cant ride a bike or make love yet, but that will come eventually. I feel relatively good most of the time. I can bend down if I do it slowly. I will continue to get stronger and healthier until I am scurrying down the hill from pacific avenue and skidding out in Billy Watsons driveway again. Until I am going out to places, to sing because I miss it so much. Until I can make love like crazy for hours and not have to worry about how I move and where I am touched.

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No more pastrami.

I guess I will never be able to eat a pastrami sandwich again. I like em’ piled high and greasy on rye bread, with Russian dressing on the side. I like cole slaw on em’. sometimes. Canters deli on Fairfax has the best ones. There was a time me and my bf used to talk about getting married at Canters and having our wedding reception in the kibbutz room. That was long ago, long before carcinoid. Long before I was forced to give up pastrami. I suppose I can still eat matzah ball soup. I don’t think that will be bad for my newly scrambled digestive tract. But I fear that my days of The Brooklyn sandwich (half chopped liver, half pastrami) are over now. No more ribs for me. No more Kosher hot dogs. No more fried zucchini. No more briscuit sandwiches. But hey, its all good. I am still alive. I can eat Tomberlies all vegan ice cream now. I can eat eggless tofu salad sandwiches. I can drink fresh juices and above all, I can still eat sushi!! Woo hoo! Life is good and I am grateful to be living it.

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I lost the handy award last night.

I knew it would go to Betty Lavette. That’s okay. She deserves it. Shes older and she has a great voice. Evan went down to Tunica to be my representative. He had a fun time hobnobbing with all my blues friends. Tommy Castro, Lynwood Slim, Tab benoit, Bob Margolin, Bob Corritore, etc.. everybody was down there. I wished I could have gone too but Im still too weak to deal with crowds. My voice is really soft. If I had to speak over people and loud music, I wouldn’t be able to do it. I am still too fragile. Its only been 21 days since the surgery. I know I am getting stronger little by little. Maybe I will get nominated next year and win. That would be nice. But just being nominated finally, was a real coup for me. I guess it finally proves that I am good enough in the blues world. I guess it finally proves that I am not just a former X rated big bust model and dancer. It proves that I have transcended my controversial past and am finally being accepted for the singer I have always been. That feels good. That feels vindicating. May all my sexworker friends be able to move on from sex work and be accepted for their own unique talents and virtues. May every one of us be able to live our dreams and pursue our true calling without being marginalized for the choices we have made. I am so blessed and lucky. I know I live a charmed life. Now I just want to keep on living it for a few more decades.

Eighteen days since they cut me open!

I am still taking things one day at a time. I am slowly learning what foods my body can tolerate post surgery, and what foods it cannot. Sometimes I am in a lot of pain but most of the time I am feeling good and strong and oh-so-lucky to be alive. I still cant ride my bike yet but I am walking a bit each day. I walked the Oceanside pier the other day. I had to sit down a few times along the way but I made it to the end and back. I also walk around the neighborhood and try to walk as much as possible in my own house, trying to regain a sense of normalcy.

I had my staples taken out on Monday and got to read the pathology report from my surgery. I am still learning about this neuroendocrine tumor I have had. Its hard to get info because this is such a rare form of cancer. It is not even recognized by the American Cancer society! Weird how something that can kill me and is called “cancer” doesn’t qualify as cancer to them! Here are some websites about carcinoid and what it means;

http://www.carcinoid.org/
http://carcinoidawareness.moonfruit.com/


Dr. Lowy told me that the tumor on my pancreas was non functioning BUT, this seemingly innocent tumor was able to infect fourteen of my lymph nodes with cancer! He removed twenty lymph nodes during my whipple procedure and fourteen were cancerous! This is very scary especially when you consider that all my cancer markers in my blood tests were normal. He thinks he got it all, but of course its pretty scary to think that a cancerous lymph node could have hidden somewhere in there, with all the guts and organs. I am just thinking as positive as possible; telling myself that I am cancer free and that I will be fine from here on in. I will have to be tested twice a year with a full body scan to make sure the cancer hasn’t recurred. I join the ranks of millions who are in the exclusive club that no one wants to join; cancer survivors.

I am staying alkaline and staying on my vegetarian regime. I cant qualify as vegan yet because I am still eating sushi and organic chicken. I will try and give up chicken but I don’t know if I can ever give up sushi! Giving up coffee, starch and sugar was much easier than sushi! I do think that if I can continue my juicing and alkaline regimen that I may be able to assist my own immune system in beating any remaining cancer cells myself. At least, I hope so!

Money continues to pour in from the benefits for me all over the world. My friend, healer Louise Hay, donated $1000 at my benefit at Humphreys. That is the largest single donation I have received so far! I feel so blessed and so humbled to know how many people truly care and how many people have been willing to donate their hard earned money but also their time and talents to the various benefits around the world. It has really been inspiring to see people rise to their highest level of compassion and caring for lil’ ol me. It has meant so much to me and to my two sons, Evan and Tommy, to see how much people care and how willing they are to give of themselves at this crazy time in our lives. The generosity of so many has afforded me the luxury of focusing on healing without having to worry about the mounting bills. www.singers.org and www.sweetrelief.org have also been amazingly generous, helping me pay bills and survive this monumental health challenge.

Tomorrow are the Handy awards, or the Blues Foundation awards as they are called now. www.bluesfoundation.org
I sent my son Evan and my guitarist Laura Chavez to Tunica, Mississippi on the off chance that I might win. I am nominated for Best Contemporary Blues Female along with Betty Lavette, Debbie Davies, Fiona Boyes and Teresa James. Im not confident that I will win because all the women in my category are so strong and talented. But if I do win, my son evan will deliver a speech thanking all of the blues people who got me to this point. It would really be a special coup to win, especially now, since I am still so fragile from the surgery. Wish me luck! You can hear the awards broadcast live at www.xmradio.com on Bluesville.


Thank you again to all who have written me emails, letters, sent flowers and plants, checks and money orders and pay pal gifts. Thanks to the musicians who donated their time, talents and energy to so many benefits. And they aren’t done yet! Below is a list of more benefits to come. I am so grateful for the generosity of so many people. When I start talking about it, I start crying. They are tears of joy to know that so many people love me and hold me close to their hearts. May I be deserving of all that love and admiration and be able to make more music to inspire you all, for many years to come.

BIG BIG LOVE AND GRATITUDE,

Candye


More cancer benefits:

May 13 Arlington, Va/ The Claredon Ballroom/ www.gottaswing.com
May 14 San Diego Ca/ The Casbah/ Joey Harris, Years around the sun, Mojo Nixon Steve Poltz and friends
May 16 Paris France/ Le café Loom/ Sophie Kay, Little Victor, Benoit Blue Boy and many more!
May 16 Hartford Ct/ Black Eyed Sallys/Fade to Blues, Johnny Feds and guests
May 29 Austin, Tx/ Antones/ Kim Wilson, Billy Jo Shaver, Rosie Flores, Margaret Moser, Susan Antone, and friends
6/21 Boulder, Colo/ Oskars Blues/ Jodie Woodward and friends
6/21 Dortmund, Germany/ FZW club/ Baums Bluesbenders, Tom Vietht, Limited Edition, Dirty Blues
8/17 Seattle – Tacoma Benefit/ for info contact Barbara @ gigginthenarrows@aol.com

one hour at a time

One Hour at a time

Today has been five days home from the hospital. Being at home post surgery is really great. I am so happy to sleep in my warm flannel sheets at night and have my own fireplace to snuggle in front of. I was even able to stick my foot in the ocean water the other day. The sand beneath my toes was divine! I am juicing daily and eating delicately. Four to five bites per meal is all I can handle. I take little walks and try to do at least one excursion a day to the store or the bank or the post office. I walk very slowly and take my time so sometimes people get impatient with me and scurry past me, grumbling. I just smile at them and send them blessings. I used to be that person scurrying past slow people and grumbling. Boy, its different when you are the slow one! I am learning patience from the universe - Patience with my own body and its slow, deliberate healing process; Patience with myself and with those around me. I have always been a most impatient girl, wanting everything now and not being able to wait. The impatience has served me well because I got things done myself because I was too impatient to wait for someone else to do them. But now with my body challenged in so many ways, being unable to bend over, open and close windows in my house, or do some of the simplest things like empty the trash, I am learning patience. I will get this lesson right.

My ex husband Thomas is building me a beautiful patio out in my back yard so I will be able to sit on a lounge chair soon and sun my scar in privacy. I am so grateful for every day alive. I am so happy to be here at home again and to see the friends and family I love and gaze into their sweet faces. I know I didn’t let on how scared I was before the surgery. I am very optimistic by nature, always turning lemons into lemonade Every once in awhile though, a big dark cloud of doubt would park over me and I would allow myself the darkest thoughts: “what if I don’t see my kids again? What if I cant kiss their sweet cheeks or see them marry or have children of their own? What if I cant sing again after this is over?” I am so glad that I am still here and that the universe still has some use for me in this life. I feel honored and blessed for every day I am here. The day I went int surgery though, I was surprisingly tranquil. I felt certain that I would be fine. I knew there were hundreds of glimmers of light for me all over the world. You kept me alive in there.

I can sing a little and have been playing guitar and trying, just for me. My voice has a very sweet, vulnerability about it. Its very different from the powerhouse voice I have learned to command and control. I may record a few songs this way just so I can remember what it was like to be so weak and fragile. It has a funny vibrato when I sing that reminds me of Kitty Wells.

The healing process is very slow but I am taking it one hour at a time, one day at a time. I have enough energy to make one or two phone calls per day. I have enough energy for three to ten emails a day. One minute I will be laughing and sitting in the sun on my terrace, and the next I will be in my bed crying in pain with the shades drawn. I really cant predict from one moment to the next how I will feel. My body just needs time and rest to get back to its prior strength. I know it will get there. I have 154 stitches in my abdomen and 48 staples. I call it my car hood because its in the shape of a big round upside down happy face smile. If I get a belly button piercing, that will be my car hood ornament. I have to laugh at it. It really looks like Frankenstein. I am glad I posed nude when I was younger and my belly was chubby but perfect. Playboy Magazine wont be a knockin’ anytime soon! Now my big, scarred belly is a bonafide war badge. I have been through a war and back again and my body looks like that and feels it. I will get the staples out on Monday. I have lost a lot of weight but its hard to tell how much because my abdomen area is still very swollen and distended with fluids. Day by day, I regain a bit more strength. Now I can stand some of the time and make my carrot juice, I don’t have to sit the whole time. Day by day, hour by hour, one inch of progress at a time - restoring and renewing me to my former strength . But I will never be the same after this experience. I can never go back to pre cancer, because this kind of neuroendocrine tumor really has no cure other than surgery. They are fairly certain that they removed all of mine and we will review the pathology report next week and find out what it says. Like so many cancer patients, I will always have to be diligent that it doesnt return. I will be on certain medications for the rest of my life. I have been taught how fragile my body is, yet how strong it is too. I know I will be okay.

I want to thank again Bob Corritore and Kim Danielson for the great benefit they did at the rhythm room in phoenix. Also a shout out to thank Lorna Hamilton and Sooty for the benefit they did at O Connells in San Diego. Gina Sicilia and Bob Margolin just did a wonderful benefit this past weekend in Hoboken, New Jersey and Carlos Guitarlos and Desiree Martinez who organized the great benefit at Perqs at Huntington Beach; Thank YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. You are keeping me and my family alive now and I appreciate it more than words can say... I am just starting now to write my handwritten thank yous to many of you. It takes me a lot of time to get even one done. Please be patient with me as I am learning to be patient with myself.

In stitches in Oceanside,

Candye

Theres no place like home!

Theres no place like home…..


Yesterday I came home from the hospital!!!!!!!! Today is one week since I had the whipple procedure. I am still very weak and each day will be a fight for survival but I am so glad to be out of that place. My surgery, as my son Evan reported went well. It was a five hour turned nine hour ordeal, due to my amazing surgeon Andrew Lowy and his determination to remove an extra suspicious lymph node that didn’t want to be removed. Many surgeons would have closed me up and just left the cancerous node there but not Dr. Lowy. He worked tirelessly until every cancerous node was removed and still found the time to meet with my parents and children and Adam after the surgery and brief them in a kind and considerate way. He is a compassionate and diligent man and I owe my life to him.

I am not out of the woods yet. I have more than a hundred stitches in a giant horseshoe shape on my abdomen. I am still in serious back pain from the epidural I had all week. But I was walking around the hospital daily and doing well and would have rapidly deteriorated had I not been allowed to come home and rest here in my comfort zone.

There were many amazing nurses at UCSD Thornton who cared for me with such kindness and love. I will never forget them. RJ, Jody, Karen, Rodney, I owe my quick homecoming partly to you. There were also a few nurses who were lousy and did a crappy job. One night they had me on such a fast IV drip that I had to go to the bathroom every five minutes. I didn’t sleep at all that night and after more than 500 trips from my bed to the john, I realized that if I was that strong that I could get up and out of bed that many times, I would be better off at home. One very negligent nurse simply forgot to give me my pancreatic digestive enzymes on the very first day of my introduction to solid foods. It wasn’t discovered until my second day on solids that no one had given me any digestive enzymes. That nurse could have made me very sick and again I started to realize that I desperately needed to be home where I can monitor and control my own medications. The food was another issue at the hospital or the crappy hotel, as I called it. The food was all from cans, jars or frozen. There was nothing raw, organic or even remotely healthy on that menu and when youre a person fighting for your life, healthy foods are everything. I met two amazing people in the hospital Rachele Fiore, my anesthesiologist assistant during my surgery took the time to visit me every day after the surgery and her friend Alan was another angel who made my stay bearable and better. Thank you to all my angels.

I am taking it slowly. No driving or riding my bike or lifting anything heavy. Today my goals are just to take a shower and maybe water my yard or walk half way down the block but every day I will get just a wee bit stronger until I am back to the feisty, passionate, fighting, kicking and screaming broad you all know and love.

Thank you so much for your flowers in the hospital, the cards and letters and the emails. I have not felt well enough to respond to everyone and just writing this update has taken some big effort on my part but I know so many of you are waiting for email replies and return phone calls, I had to do something to reassure everyone that I am okay. I will get thru this thanks to my own spirit and resolve and to the vast amount of love out there for me. The benefit at perqs was beautiful and so many people were generous and sweet to evan and shared their well wishes and concern. I am hopeful that I may be able to attend at least part of the benefit at Humphreys on May 5 if I continue to make such good progress. Then I will be able to thank you all in person for your love. Your healing white light is sustaining me, nurturing me and making me whole. Please don’t call me at home unless its absolutely necessary. I am in a lot of pain and just trying to take things one day at a time and heal. xoxox

Much love to you all from the sancitity of my sunny Oceanside home,

Candye Kane

my bout with pancreatic cancer

My Bout with Pancreatic Cancer

Hello all,

Some of you may have already heard this thru the grape vine or thru close friends or family members of mine so forgive me if you are receiving this information again.

On Friday, February 22, I went to the Scripps Encinitas emergency room with abdominal pain. I have been having this pain about every four to six months, for several years now, The pain has landed me in hospitals all over the world including Belgium, Germany, Holland, Nebraska, Indiana and New Jersey. (I actually had to cancel a tour in Germany some time ago, with BB and the Blues shacks because of this problem, and left the stage at Skips in Angola, Indiana because of same.) Usually they have diagnosed the pain as acid reflux, and I personally thought the pain was gallstones but no stones have ever been found. On this feb 22 ER trip, they finally gave me a cat scan and found a 3.4 cm tumor on my pancreatic head. The report they gave me said that the “mass is presumed to be cancer or a pancreatic neoplasm unless proven otherwise.”

Since the finding of this tumor, I have done lots of research on the causes, symptoms and treatments for pancreatic tumors and cancers. There is a wonderful website www.pancan.org that provides some amazing information for people with this cancer, if you are interested. This cancer is normally caused by excessive cigarette or alcohol consumption or family history. I have none of the above but I have been exposed to very large amounts of second hand smoke in my lifetime. I have met with a pancreatic surgeon at UCSD Moores Cancer Institute and have had an endoscopic fine needle aspiration. This is a fancy word for biopsy. The biopsy results are still not analyzed yet, but they took five samples of the tumor with a very fine needle. I had to swallow a camera and the camera introduced the needle thru my stomach wall to take samples of the tumor on my pancreas. The doctor who did the procedure, and my pancreatic surgical nurse thinks I have a neuro endocrine tumor (which is the same one that Apple founder Steve Jobs had). The biopsy made me very sick and further inflamed my pancreas, and so I was admitted into the hospital this weekend for complications and fever resulting from the biopsy. Hospitals suck and I am really glad to be back home now and am feeling much better.

Like Steve Jobs, I have radically changed my diet as a result of this tumor. I have given up coffee, sodas. meat, fish, starch and sugar. I have purchased a juicer and am juicing daily with wheatgrass, beet, carrot, parsley, ginger, cucumber, chard and many fresh fruits. I am trying to alkaline my body since I have learned that cancer cannot grow in an alkaline environment. I am staying active and upbeat and have enlisted my friends and family to surround me with positive thoughts and white healing light. Now I ask you, my fans and friends to do the same.

I still don’t know yet what the final results are of the biopsy but I should know something by the end of this week. I know that I am facing surgery, or chemotherapy, (although it is rarely successful in treating a neuroendocrine tumor) and maybe both. I am really strong and really healthy. In fact, I feel GREAT. Its weird when they tell you that you have cancer when you feel like a million bucks. Right now, I don’t know which of my upcoming shows will have to be postponed but I will make that announcement soon. I am definitely coming up to the bay area this weekend – see the schedule below- and will probably not have to have my surgery until after at least part of my upcoming European tour. Of course, I will do whatever my doctors advise me to do so I can recover as quickly as possible.

The good news is that neuroendocrine tumors are not as aggressive or deadly as pancreatic cancer. They move slowly and are much easier to treat. The prognosis is much better for these types of islet cell tumors so that is wonderful. The bad news is I have a tumor and it will definitely affect me, my family; the band; the shows and my fans in some way, at some point.

Since I have no health insurance, its going to be a real struggle financially to survive without working. Some of you have already been very generous and kind and sent me money through paypal. My paypal account name is candyekanetour@aol.com Others have been wonderfully supportive with offers for benefit concerts. My friends in Austin, Rosie Flores, Margaret Moser and Susan Antone are reportedly already organizing one, and my friends Dave Alvin and Toni Price and many other musicians and artists have kindly offered to lend their voices and guitars to my cause. I am also applying for aid from many music cares organizations and I am applying for Medi-cal. Hopefully, with the help of my friends, family and fans, and a few kindly music relief groups, I will be able to fight this tumor and get back to the job I love – making music for you!


I ask you for your love, your patience and most of all, your positive thoughts during this difficult time. If you have any extra money to give, now is the time to give it. If you live in the bay area, please come and celebrate my life and music with me and my band.

Thank you for keeping me and my sons, Evan and Tommy in your prayers. Most of all, thanks for the gracious and gentle gift of your friendship and love while I fight this current bump in the road.

Sign me – still the toughest girl alive;

Candye Kane


Candye Kane band shows

3/13 San Francisco, Ca/ Biscuits and Blues
3/14 Phillipsville, Ca/ The Riverwood Inn
3/15 Concord, Ca/ Big Boogie Nights BBW Event @ Hangar Lounge/ Crown Plaza Hotel
3/27 Candye in Holland/United by Music workshops
3/29 leave for finland
3/30 off
3/31 Helsinki, Finland/ Storyville
4/1 Helsinki, Finland/Storyville
4/3 Tampere, Finland/ Downhome- Klubi
4/5 Linkoping, Sweden/ Great Jazz festival
4/6 Stockholm, Sweden/ Akkurat
4/7 band returns to states/ Candye and Laura stay for Blues Caravan shows

eight days till my cancer surgery

Eight days till my Surgery

WOW! I cant believe I will go under the knife in just eight days. I am nervous but I continue to say my positive affirmations and visualize myself in my healthy, cancer free body when this is over. I am feeling great and stronger than ever. I have discovered some amazing new vegan foods to eat like raw vegan ice cream from coconut milk, vegannaise, Kamut yeast free bread and so many other delicious vegan foods that I don’t miss meat, sugar or dairy at all! I continue to juice daily, lose weight and ride my bike about four miles daily. I am a regular at my local health food store, Cream of the Crop, and everyone there is wishing me well when I go in for my wheatgrass shots each day. I am in great shape right now, my skin is soft, my eyes are clear and bright and I know I will survive this surgery and recuperate quickly.

It was an amazing week when many of my musician friends, Sue Palmer, Paul Loranger, Sharon Shufelt, Jonny Viau, April West, Pete Harris, Melissa Hague and Steve Wilcox recorded with me at PH studios in Escondido. We recorded some standards I have always wanted to record; At Last, I got it bad and that aint good, He’s Funny that Way, and Joe Liggins I gotta right to cry (which was one of the songs I used to strip to as a young dancer in the early 80’s). We will go back in on April 16th to record a few more tunes before I enter the hospital. I felt like it was important to do this, because if something did go wrong in surgery, (which it wont!!!) at least I have recorded some of my all time favorite songs. I know everything will be fine but it felt so special and heartwarming to have my musician friends rally around me and donate their talents and studio time for free. I am one lucky girl.

I continue to be humbled and awed by so many beautiful gestures of friendship and love from you. I have received so many cards (many with checks!) letters, emails and phone calls. Pay pal gifts continue to stream in. I am overwhelmed with so much to do and have over 400 emails waiting for an answer. Thank you for your patience with me right now, and thank you so much for your huge hearts and your tender words of love. The benefits are listed below that will help me pay for my living expenses while I am disabled. There are so many bills to pay and now that I cancelled my European tour, I am in debt for the airline ticket money the Finnish promoter sent me. I owe about $8000 in hospital bills that Medi-cal will not pay, plus another 5k to the Finnish promoters. Not to mention the lost wages of the band members who all lost work when I cancelled. The money raised at these benefits will go a long way towards helping me recuperate in peace without worrying about how we will survive.

My long time friend, singer, songwriter, musician Chris Gaffney is also suffering from liver cancer. Go to www.helpgaff.com to help him. And my friend, Ann Rabson from Saffire the Uppity Blues Women, is facing serious cancer challenges of her own almost at the same time as me. She and I have already started discussing collaborating on some upbeat cancer survivor songs when we are both healed! I feel stronger knowing that many of my friends are suffering right along with me and I know we will all prevail and be better and stronger for having gone thru this experience.

I really feel like on some level, cancer has been a blessing. (I know, ask me again when I am groaning in pain in a hospital bed!) But for the first time in my life, I have really started to think about what I eat and when I eat it. I have always been proud to be a big, voluptuous gal, and have always been active and healthy in my 200 lb plus frame, but now I am really conscious of what I am eating, and what it is made of, and where it comes from. I believe I may have chosen this challenge on some cosmic level, so I could learn from this experience and improve and I know I have been given an opportunity to grow spiritually from this fight. Maybe I will start a workshop for cancer patients to learn how to write songs and journals to help them cope with their illnesses. Music is such a powerful healer and maybe that’s why this has happened to me. I will use the cancer experience as a way to make my memoir even more powerful and meaningful. I will really be able to lay claim to the Toughest Girl Alive title now! I know my optimistic nature is coming in handy during this challenge. (Notice I refuse to say Im sick!? I am just health challenged right now!) And it has been so helpful to know that I am not alone and that I have so many beautiful, caring people in my corner. So many of my friends around the globe are organizing benefits for me. Thank you all so much for your continued love and support. I feel your healing thoughts and energy and I hope you will keep me close to your hearts on April 18th.

Don’t worry about me people. Youre not rid of me yet!!
Big Big Love and Gratitude,

Candye


Candye Kane Cancer Benefits (more to come in San Francisco, Seattle-Tacoma and Portland area)

April 14 Phoenix, Az/Rhythm Room/ Bob Corritore, Sistah Blue, Pete Pearson and friends
April 18 Candye surgery/ UCSD Thornton Hospital/ La Jolla California
April 20 San Diego, Ca/ O’Connells/ Joey Harris, Lady Dottie and the Diamonds, Mojo Nixon, Paul Kamanski, Behind the Wagon and friends
April 20 Huntington Beach, Ca/ Perqs/ Carlos Guitarlos, Janniva Magness, The Blasters and friends
April 27 Hoboken, New Jersey/ Scotland Yard/ Gina Sicilia and friends
May 4 Austin, Tx/ Antones/ Rosie Flores, Margaret Moser, Susan Antone and friends
May 5 San Diego, Ca/ Humphreys/ Chet Cannon, Toni Price, Sue Palmer, Joey Harris, Anna Troy, Billy Watson and friends
May 13 Arlington, Va/ The Claredon Ballroom/ www.gottaswing.com
May 14 San Diego Ca/ The Casbah/ Joey Harris, Years around the sun, Mojo Nixon Steve Poltz and friends
May 15 Hartford Ct/ Black Eyed Sallys
6/21 Boulder, Colo/ Oskars Blues/ Jodie Woodward and friends
6/21 Dortmund, Germany/ FZW club/ Baums Bluesbenders, Tom Vietht, Limited Edition, Dirty Blues

The Good kind of cancer?

The Good kind of cancer??

I met with my pancreatic surgeon, Dr. Andrew Lowy today. He says I need the Whipple. You can learn more here:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/pancreatic-cancer/whippleprocedure.html

This operation is going to be very intense. They will remove 1/3 of my pancreas, 10 inches of my small intestine, part of my stomach, part of my bile duct and my gall bladder. They will reattach my intestine to my pancreas and may have to take a vein from my neck to rebuild the portal vein that goes to my liver. It is a five to eight hour surgery that will have me in the hospital for at least two weeks; longer if there are complications from the surgery. Often the pancreas tries to digest all the stitches inside the body and so there is good possibility of fluid leakage and I will have to have a port through my stomach so they can drain all the fluid out. It is very dangerous and intense and this is the GOOD kind of cancer!!!!

I have been offered two dates for surgery, one of them is april 18th. The whipple is the only way to remove this tumor 100%. I have read so much about it and many people have tried to eradicate the NETs (neuroendocrine tumors) thru vitamin C therapies, laetrile therapies and other alternative medicines to no avail. Now that I have had a needle biopsy the tumor may grow more quickly. I read about one woman whose tumor grew twice its size in one month after a needle biopsy!! I am really worried now about my European tours because if I get pancreatitis again then they wont be able to operate on me for weeks. Pancreatitis is caused by stress and poor diet. Lack of sleep adds to stress. Being in a van bouncing around all day adds to stress. Long drives add to stress. Weird food at strange hours leads to stress. Jet lag leads to stress. I am still trying to decide if I am going or not. This news today was most upsetting.

I was supposed to do some workshops with my special needs kids in the Netherlands this week, in anticipation of our scheduled tour on June 21. I think now I will have to cancel the workshops, and tours and have this intense surgery on April 18th so I can get on the road to recovery and maybe resume working in June.

I am very worried about this surgery. Being a fat girl doesn’t help things in the surgical realm. But I have lost 10 lbs so far just from giving up dairy, fried anything, red meat, coffee, sugar, sodas, starches, fats and bread other than Ezekial. I am staying active, riding my bike, still juicing and trying to be as strong as possible for this surgery. I will definitely be skinnier when this is all over and hopefully, cancer free!!

The first benefit for me is planned for April 20th at Perqs in Huntington Beach 117 Main St 92648 (714) 960-9996 from 1:00 pm to 6:00 pm. My friends Desiree Martinez and Carlos Guitarlos have assembled an amazing array of my friends to perform: Janiva Magness, Juke Logan, Cesar Rosas from Los Los Lobos, Phil Alvin, Billy Sheets, Lynwood Slim, Laurie Morvan. Kid Ramos, The Gears, Gil T, Jeff and Kurt Ross, Thomas Yearsley, Greg Boaz, Jungle Juice and The Kooks. If you can attend, please do. I wont be there since I will have just had surgery but I will be there in spirit.

The next one is May 5th at Humphreys in San Diego. Chet Cannon has organized this one and confirmed are Sue Palmer, Billy Watson, Ruby and the Red Hots, Michelle Lundeen, Chris Klich, Robbie Smith, Scottie Blinn, Juke Logan, Joey Harris, Heine and Missy Andersen. If you’d like to play contact chet at blushouter@aol.com

My friend Barbara Hammerman is planning a benefit in the seattle area. If you would like to play, please contact Giginthenarrows@aol.com

Rosie Flores is also planning a benefit in Austin with my friends Susan Antone and Margaret Moser. To play the Antones benefit, please contact Rosie at chickwpick@earthlink.net



My heart is so full from all the love and white light you have been sending me. I will be laid up for several months after this surgery and so all of these benefits will help pay for my living expenses and medi-cal co-pays, and help the band survive with no work. I am very pleased that I qualified for co-pay medi-cal, only because I have a child under 21. If I didn’t have a child under 21, I would have to apply for social security. When I spoke to the social worker about it, he said, “Yes, some people just expire while they are waiting for SSI.” !!!! He said people just EXPIRE like a carton of milk or some old lunch meat. It was so sad. It was a harsh realization that poor people’s lives don’t matter in this rich country of ours. Wow. I am lucky to have a kid under 21 but in just two years, it will be over and I will be ineligible. I don’t know how I will have the follow up care and scans I will need! Oh well, one day at a time…..

I am so lucky and blessed in so many ways. I have so many of YOU rallying for me. They found the tumor early. It has not spread anywhere. I have no symptoms. Im fat so I can stand to lose some of the weight thru this surgery. Other than being very scared and sad occasionally, I feel great.

I am still staying optimistic and I have written this little song I sing daily:

Im gonna be just fine.
Im gonna be just fine
Im gonna live till 109
Im gonna be just fine

Im gonna grow real old
Im gonna grow real old
A white haired lady with a lotta soul
Im gonna grow real old

Grandbabies on my knee
Grandbabies on my knee
I love them and they love me
Grandbabies on my knee

Im healing even now
Im healing even now
Show the world exactly how
Im healing even now.

Please keep those healing thoughts a coming….and any donations you can muster at www.paypal.com user name, candyekanetour@aol.com

Wish this were all an april fools joke….

candye

cancelled my tour and scheduled cancer surgery

Cancelled my European Tours and scheduled surgery for April 18th.
Hello everyone!

It was an agonizing decision but I decided I had to cancel my european shows and my appearance on the blues caravan tour for the time being. I will endure the whipple procedure (pancreatic duodectomy) on april 18th at UCSD Thornton Hospital. I will be in the hospital for two weeks minimum. The address for the hospital is : 9300 Campus Point Drive, La Jolla Ca 92037.



It was a very difficult decision to cancel this tour. So many people depend on me for their income and so many people worldwide just wanted to see me sing. But I will sing again and by doing this surgery early, I have a better chance of recovering quickly and thus being able to do my other shows later this summer.

I am feeling great and this extra time at home will allow me to continue my juicing and exercise and get in optimum shape before I endure this very radical surgery.
Thanks so much to those of you who wrote me kind and sometimes funny emails encouraging me to stay at home. The permission slips you sent were hilarious!

I have already lost 20 pounds as a result of my dietary changes and will be lose probably another 50 pounds from this intense operation. I am sure I will be fine and will be in better shape than ever.

I am already thinking about the activism I will embrace when I am well; for the health care that should be available to all of us regardless of our economic status. Poor peoples lives are worth as much as rich peoples and if I hadnt had a child under 21 and been eligible for partial pay medi-cal, if I hadnt had generous friends, fans and family who are helping, I wouldnt even be able to have cancer surgery and would just be sent home to die! This isnt right and I will fight to publicize this issue. 

Right now though, I just have to fight to get better and beat cancer and survive this surgery.

I am strong and I can do it. I just know it. But I still need your love, prayers, support and healing white light. Keep those positive thoughts coming!

If you want to donate $$ to the cancer fund, check out my myspace www.myspace.com/candyekaneband for a benefit near you or you can send money thru www.paypal.com. My user name is candyekanetour@aol.com

Or you can send a check to: candye kane cancer fund 315 s. hwy 101 #47 encinitas, ca 92024.

Please also keep my friend Chris Gaffney in your thoughts who has been diagnosed with liver cancer. Chris is an amazing singer and musician from The Hacienda Brothers and the Dave Alvin Band. His website is www.helpgaff.com

Thank Goddess, I have partial pay Medi-cal insurance now but I will be laid up for months after this intense surgery and will still need to pay bills and survive with no income. Thanks in advance for your continued generosity and for keeping me, evan and tommy in your thoughts and prayers.


Much love and gratitude;

Candye

Disabled people - Unworthy of life?

Thirty-five bodies were found earlier this week in a western German town. The Catholic cemetery in Menden, near Dortmund, was long rumored to be a mass gravesite of Nazi victims. Another hundred and sixty-five bodies are expected to be unearthed as excavation continues at the Catholic Church site. Most of the innocents were children, believed to have been victims of Hitler’s program of forced “euthanasia” that killed tens of thousands of people with mental and physical disabilities.

Around 70,000 people, deemed “unworthy of life” because of their disabilities, were murdered between autumn 1939 and summer 1941 and tens of thousands were murdered in the following years, usually by injections and drug overdoses in hospitals and sanatoriums supposed to protect them.
This grisly discovery begs the question; What took them so long to investigate? The burial site was the subject of more than sixty years of rumor from surviving eyewitnesses who remember bodies being transported daily. Some of the victims may have come from nearby Wimbern hospital built on the orders of Hitler's personal physician Karl Brandt, who was in charge of the euthanasia program. Was it because these victims were disabled adults and children, that no one cared enough about them to investigate these heinous rumors? They had little or no voice in life and now they have had no voice in death, after more than sixty years! Astonishing!

For me, this story is especially compelling, as I get ready to embark on my tour of the Netherlands www.Unitedbymusic.nl This tour features the amazing talents of several special needs people who will sing and dance onstage with me in a star studded musical line up. These are Dutch young adults, with various levels of disabilities, yet they will take the stage with American blues musicians, singing in their second language of English, many performing original songs that they have composed themselves. How many disabled Americans could sing and compose songs in Dutch? How many so-called “normal” Americans could perform onstage in anything other than their native tongue? How many Americans can even remember the words to an entire song, all the way through, much less perform it, in front of hundreds of strangers?

I have been astounded at the capabilities of these so-called “disabled” people. They speak better English than many of my peers and the joy and spontaneity they experience through music clearly shows them to be more evolved than the average person. I know now that the words “special needs, disabled, handicapped and retarded” need a thorough re-evaluation.

As a Jew, I have long known of the horrific history of Nazi Germany and the ruthless cruelty that was imposed on six million innocent people. But too often, it is forgotten how many others were brutally murdered simply because they were old, gay or gypsies, or simply because they were born with a different looking body or another invisible obstacle. Now, with the United by Music tour days away, it makes this an especially poignant story. Knowing that these courageous and exceptional people may have been put to death during WWII simply because they saw the world through a different set of eye glasses, makes me feel even more honored to be part of the United by Music tour.

Next week, I will take the stage with gifted human beings who will share their talents with grateful audiences. I will take the stage in memory of the tens of thousands of people who were murdered just because they were different; The tens of thousands of victims who died without a voice. And the 200 special needs people who were discarded like so much rubbish in the mass grave behind the Catholic Church in Menden. May they all, finally, rest in peace.

Jean-Paul Gaultier – Friend to big girls? I don’t buy it!

Jean-Paul Gaultier recently used a plus sized model in his Paris runway show. Velvet D'Amour, an American - Paris based actress and model, took the runway in an apparent statement about the Spanish ban on anorexic looking fashion models.

D'Amour was quoted as saying "Diversity is what is important. Whether you are saying a model is too fat or too skinny, it's still wrong." D'Amour, regrettably, seems to be missing the point.

To put skinny discrimination and fat discrimination in the same category does a disservice to people all over the world who deal with this issue daily. YES, occasionally a thin person is accused of having an eating disorder but generally, thin people are the ideal and are depicted in all media as normal and happy, while fat people are laughed at, scorned and made to feel invisible. Skinny people in general, as I am sure Velvet knows firsthand, are not ridiculed and debased, discriminated against and openly joked about in the workplace and in the world.

Although Gaultier may have used her once, to emphasize his outsider status, she was merely a punctuation mark to make an insider joke. Gaultier, who is most famous for the corset bra he designed for Madonna, has only used a large-sized model once every decade; maybe. He does not have a plus-sized line of fashion, or any plans to initiate one. Although large sized women comprise more than 75% of the fashion buyers in the United States, I doubt you will see a sudden trend towards inclusion of large-sized women in the fashion industry.



I have recently learned that D'Amour has been invited before to model during Parisien designer week, once for Galliano and now JPG. Unfortunately, she will likely not be invited back. Although she is beautiful and courageous for taking the runway in front of so many thin worshippers, she was a pawn in a game of sizist fashion politics. Jean-Paul Gaultier is simply part of the problem. He doesn't really care about large sized women or our invisibility in the fashion world. If he truly did care, he wouldn't have used a fat girl to make a negligible point. He would launch his own large sized fashion line in an attempt to include us in the dialogue, and put his heart and money where his mouth is.

The fact that other designers have finally decided to take notice and limit some of the unhealthy, anorexic, bone thin fashion models on the runway is a step in the right direction towards changing cultural attitudes about body type. I wonder if she used her ample opportunity with Gaultier to encourage him to start a large sized line that included her and her plus size sisters? He certainly has the clout and power to make major changes in the fashion world, but instead seems content to make provocative statements while doing nothing to change the status quo.

Lets face it; most of the time, no one is complaining when someone is too thin and wears a bikini at the beach. But when a fat girl does it, the public scorn is almost palpable. I have had girls laugh right in front of me when I walked into the public restroom. "Oh my God! Did you see what she was wearing?" they pronounced loudly from the stall next to me. (Suddenly because I am fat, I must be deaf too!) These same girls are kissing my fat ass after my show is over and gushing over the music as they buy cds in an insincere attempt at redemption. I have had teenage boys yell at me from passing cars, as I ride my bike down Pacific Coast Highway. "Its not gonna work, Fatty!!" they proclaim as I ride red-faced to my destination, pretending not to hear them.

At the same time, I have had fans who struggle with anorexia and bulimia cry as they tell me that my song "The Toughest Girl Alive," or "Big Fat Mama's are back in style" has changed their life and their attitudes about themselves.

The fashion industry's insistence on cramming ultra-thin models down the hungry collective throat of the world is a dangerous practice. Teenage girls grow up feeling inadequate and loathing their own bodies. Eating disorders are at an all time high. Some young girls have even resorted to suicide because they felt so ugly and fat. The fashion industry should wake up and smell the sweet n'low in their coffee and be accountable for the sickening trend they have perpetuated. People will still buy haute couture and prêt a porter fashion if its modeled by average, curvy and dare I say, fat women. In fact, I believe the high brow fashion designers will sell even more product when they market their wares to the majority of us who have imperfect bodies, instead of the anorexic few.

Jean- Paul Gaultier- a friend to fat girls? I don't buy it. Not only because it is insincere but because it doesn't even come in my size.

An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind

An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind.


I cant watch the news anymore. Whenever I watch it, I end up tossing and turning all night with nightmares. When I was a kid, I used to have this recurring dream. I would be driving in a beautiful red convertible. The top was down and the air felt wonderful and warm in my hair. I am enjoying the sunshine and smiling and laughing when suddenly there is a huge flash of light as in an explosion, and the dream ends there. I never really knew what the dream meant, but now with all this bullshit about the "end times" and the "rapture"; people I thought were cool enlightened friends becoming proselytizing bible thumpers and my left wing intellectual friends becoming israel and jew haters, I am thinking maybe mankind really is headed for a nuclear final act and there aint gonna be no encores.

I have never let anyones religion, age, education, economic status, size, color, sexual preference, manner of clothing, job choice or lack thereof interfere with the dialogue. I believe there is something to be learned from everyone. Even people who seem "boring" on the surface, can prove to be deeper than I imagined. People who seem simple can teach me simplicity. People who seem hostile can become warm by sharing a good joint of skunk bud or a funny comeback. But this new person who thinks their God is better than my God, or my lack of a God at all, this new person who thinks indigenous peoples who have never been exposed to Christianity are going to burn in hell as heathens, this new religious fanatic who thinks dying is the coolest way to prove his point and wants to take out innocent people with them, I just dont see how we can ever win any kind of war or make any kind of point with an enemy like that. An enemy who is willing to explode themselves and take everyone else around with them. I just dont see how anyones "God" could condone taking innocent life and why anyone would voluntarily worship a mean, vindictive and fucked up God like that. I have never bought into the whole heaven and hell bullshit but now that somebodys god has gone a step further and seems to condone making a hell right here on earth, I really want to challenge this God to a good old fashioned ass kicking in the alley.

It seems the news channels just contribute to the problem. They offer no solutions they just report stories and sometimes only half of the story. When news organizations like Reuters are doctoring up photographs of Beirut to make Israel look worse, how can we even trust our evening news?

I am tired of reading blogs where they blame the whole Lebanon - Israel crisis on two soldiers being kidnapped. Eight Israeli soldiers were killed and two were kidnapped. Hezbollah then ordered Israel to release prisoners in Israeli jails as a negotiation tactic. When has kidnapping ever been a viable means of negotiation? If these prisoners in jails really dont belong there, isnt there some other channel of diplomacy that can be employed besides kidnapping? If kidnapping is the way to get people out of jail, why do we need King Stahlman Bail Bondsman? If kidnapping is the way to get people out of jail, I have a couple of friends in the can right now. Maybe I should look to kidnap somebody. I do live in Oceanside right by Camp Pendleton. I could probably kidnap a big marine and demand that my dope dealer be released from jail. Maybe I could also get him to move that big bookshelf while he is hanging out here. I just dont think it would work. Why does Hezbollah think it will work and why do liberals seem to think Israel should just sit around and take it?

And I am tired of hearing about how more Lebanese have died than Israelis, how more Iraqis have died than Americans, how more Palestinians have died than Israelis. When did the goal become "kill as many as possible?" He who has the most dead wins? when did the goal become tit for tat, an eye for an eye, equal damage for equal crimes? It doesnt make sense. NOBODY should be dying for any government or religious cause. When I have friends who are fighting cancer, lou gehrigs disease and AIDS right now who want desperately to live, how can anyone be dying anywhere? The insanity of it all makes me feel so helpless and crazy. How do kids grow up with any goals at all in such a world?

War sucks. Innocent people die. Countries have a right to defend themselves. When Hezbollah kidnapped the soldiers they were trying to provoke a response; thats why they did it. They wanted Israel to react. Maybe even overreact. Six million Jews were killed in the Holocaust. The Jewish population in the world today is only 4%. So yes, when eight Jews are killed, maybe the Israeli government does freak out and think "six million are gone. we cant afford to lose these eight more." Maybe they do react strongly because they have been attacked over and over again by their neighbors.

I just dont understand why its Israels fault that the Lebanese government didnt build any bombshelters for their people. Why is it Israels fault that the Palestinian govt kept all their world wide aid money and didnt build new buildings and bomb shelters? Maybe Israel should go into the countries that are attacking them and pay for bomb shelters to be built so less people will die when Israel retaliates when they are attacked!

It is so crazy and convoluted it makes me want to scream.

I grew up in a neighborhood where violence happened all the time. My friend edwin was shot on the corner in front of my high school when I was 14 years old and he was 16 in broad daylight, in plain view of my history class. He was crossing the street and boom, boom, boom he was shot at by a passing car. Someone from the Cypress Avenues had shot him because he was from the Highland Park gang. somebody from Highland Park had shot someone from the Avenues because someone from the Avenues had shot someone from HLP. It just went on and on and continues to go on today. No one even remembers who the original one was that got murdered. Its all revenge killing, tit for tat, an eye for an eye. Thats where we are headed now. When we cant even sit down and talk with someone else who has a different opinion; when we cant relate to someone who believes in a different god or needs no god to feel safe; when we cant make friends with someone because that person would rather die than be our friend, we are really headed for trouble. An eye for an eye will make everybody blind. Today being blind to the whole damn thing feels like the right move for me.

Solving the Middle East crisis? Build a casino in Ramallah!

The latest crisis in the Middle East has brought out the collective fear of the entire world. Panicked talk of WWIII and Israel’s alleged over-reaction has brought out the same old arguments and anti-semitic rhetoric, blurring the lines between Israeli policy, the occupation of Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran into a big stew of misunderstanding and assumption. Why do the Jews beat up on poor, defenseless Arab nations? Why does the United States continue to back up Israel with funding and munitions? Why don’t we let them solve their own problems? Why do we even have to have a Jewish State?

The volatile history of this region is clear, even to those who have never studied Middle Eastern affairs. Jews and Arabs have lived and fought in this area for 4000 years, long before the British Occupation in the early 1900's. The state of Israel was established in 1948 but governments and militants with an agenda have exploited the region and its peoples to their own advantage long before that, preying on people's fear, misinformation and religious differences to advance their various causes.

Now in the latest fray, violence erupted when the Palestinians dug a tunnel under the security wall in Israel, killing two soldiers and kidnapping a nineteen-year old Israeli. Israel reacted with her usual might, strategically targeting the homes of alleged militants and bulldozing buildings in Gaza and the West Bank. But this was not the business as usual, tit-for-tat retaliation that has numbed us to the Palestinian-Israeli crisis. This time, it was different. Hezbollah fighters from Lebanon jumped into the brawl, murdering eight Israeli soldiers and kidnapping two more. With Hezbollah rockets poised to strike Israeli cities, Israel started bombing Beirut and other parts of Lebanon, stranding Americans and Europeans and ruining their vacation plans. One female evacuee on CNN, asked whom she blamed for her impending evacuation from Beirut said, "I hate Israel. They’re so stupid. They ruined my vacation and for what?" Unfortunately, her statement reflects a whole attitude about this crisis. "Go ahead and blow each other up, kidnap and murder innocent people, but don’t mess with my holiday!" Another evacuee said, "Why does the United States condone this kind of violence?"

Now that Lebanese and possibly Iranian militants, have jumped head first into the fight against Israel, to defend their Palestinian brethren against the evil U.S. and Israeli empire, this is a question that begs to be answered; Why does the USA give so much aid and money to Israel? Some blame the powerful Israeli American lobby, AIPAC. Some blame the same old "Jewish conspiracy" that has supposedly always existed. The fact is, Israel HAS been given large amounts of aid by the USA, and more aid than any other country outside the USA. This is amazing when you consider that only 4% of Americans are Jews. 4% hardly equals a Jewish conspiracy. In fact, a quick look at a map of the world will tell anyone that Arab nations outsize tiny Israel and the United States Jewish population tenfold.

The Palestinians have also been given billions of dollars from Americans, British, European and Arab special interest groups. Most of that money is sitting in a Swiss bank while the late Yasser Arafat’s wife lives in exile from Palestine, enjoying the sun in the south of France. She refuses to return to Palestine, because she doesn’t want to give any of the money back!! That money could have been earmarked for Palestine's refugees; many who have lived their entire lives in tents in refugee camps. Arafat could have used the money to build homes for his own displaced people who hold onto hope that they will someday get their land back. He could have said to the people "Look, someday, we might get our land back, but meanwhile, we can’t have you living in the dirt. Let’s build some homes for you and shore up our educational system so we can become an economically viable country. Let’s build a Hard Rock Cafe in Ramallah and build some resort hotels in Gaza so we can become a tourist destination. Let’s develop our own land so we can be seen as a civilized state. Let’s stop spending money and energy blowing ourselves up at bus stops and school cafeterias, and let’s make our country a respected and better place to live, educate our people, so we can stop being victims and start being a force to be reckoned with." Arafat didn’t do that. He failed his country, inflamed the rhetoric and blamed others for Palestine’s problems all the while lining his own pockets. Arafat was named one of Forbes richest men while his people lived in tents without running water. This is not the fault of Israel or the US government, though flawed both sometimes are.

Most of the land owned by Israelis, once belonged to Palestinians. There were aces and acres of olive groves and most of the land parcels were purchased from Palestinian farmers at a fair and equitable price. Much of the land in Israel that is "occupied" was empty land with no irrigation or development. It was only until the Israelis put in running water and built the land up, did the Palestinians suddenly want the land back. Israel did occupy some empty land illegally and slowly but surely, withdrew from Lebanon, has been withdrawing from the territories and will continue to do so, despite the fact that they are still being targeted by Hamas and Hezbollah with suicide bombs and rocket fire. This concept negates the whole "occupation" excuse for war. Israel is ending the occupation, yet continues to be the target of violence. Israel purchased much of the land fair and square, yet continues to be vilified as occupiers. My great grandfather once owned a building in lower Manhattan. He sold the building for $20,000, which was a fortune back in 1940. Now the property is worth millions. I hate it that my grandfather sold that building but I don’t stand around lamenting that the new owners razed it and built luxury condos. I don’t claim that the land belongs to me and was stolen from my family. It was his choice to sell the land and the new owners have improved it, as was their right.

Presidents Jacques Chirac and Vladimir Putin have condemned what they called Israel’s "over-reaction." I submit that if French or Russian soldiers were being murdered and kidnapped and there were rockets poised and ready to be launched into French and Russian cities, these presidents might take the same action to defend their countries. I am certain that if Mexican militants kidnapped our National Guard troops today and pointed rockets towards my city of San Diego, the USA would bomb Tijuana without even batting an eye. It happened before during the Cuban Missile crisis.

There have been mistakes and atrocities committed by both sides during this long and horrible Intifada. Put a rifle in the hands of an overzealous teenager and there may inevitably be some tragic consequences. But Israel has tried to be as careful as possible when targeting the homes of suicide bombers. While Israel’s government and military make mistakes and continue to make mistakes, it is not condoned to go into Arab schools and blow up innocent kids. When Israel makes mistakes, they apologize or at least acknowledge the mistake. They do not get bonuses from the government for killing innocent people, the way suicide bombers families are given a bonus if they kill a bunch of Israelis. Palestinian militants will blow themselves up in a Pizza restaurant full of tourists. Hezbollah targets Israel by daylight to maximize the casualties of innocents. Palestinian fighters often booby trap Gaza and West Bank buildings with explosives, knowing full well that innocent families will die when the Israeli soldiers come into the buildings. Palestinian children are in the streets throwing rocks at tanks during Israeli operations. Where are the Mothers and Fathers of these children? Why aren’t they demanding that their children come home where they are safe, instead of letting them roam the streets while tanks roll by? Why isn’t their government saying "Save your precious lives. Lets rebuild our country and fight this fight another day?" Because there is a basic difference in the value of human life; Human life is expendable with Hamas and Hezbollah. Murder is justified even if it means killing other Muslims for the cause of the Intifada. You can’t negotiate with an enemy who is willing to blow themselves to smithereens and take YOU with them.

I have never heard a Palestinian American publicly condemn the act of suicide bombing. I have never seen a suicide bomber held accountable by their own government; because suicide bombing is condoned as a valid form of protest. As long as this is true, Israel must fight back. Pretty soon, we Americans will be fighting back too when militants make their way to our shopping malls and Wal-Mart stores and start blowing themselves up for their cause. This is the inevitable consequence of a war where there is no value placed on human life.

The fundamental difference between Israel and the Arab Nations is this; In Israel, you can find catholic churches, christian churches, synagogues and mosques. In Palestine, there are no synagogues. In fact, there are no synagogues in any of the Arab nations. This is the glaring difference between the Arab nations and the Israeli democracy. This is why the United States continues to support Israel. We don’t need a Jewish conspiracy to have a reason to support freedom of religion and democracy. That’s what this country was founded on.

I have been to Israel many times. There are all kinds of Israelis who are not Jewish. There are christian, muslim and atheist Israelis. There are wiccans and buddhists and hindu Israelis. There are polish, french, russian, african, australian, vietnamese, ethiopian, morrocan, saudi, iranian, iraqi and palestinian israelis. Ever heard of a wiccan, iranian prostitute? She would be stoned to death in any Arab country. In Israel, she is free to practice her beliefs. That is why people of all faiths and races migrate to Israel. There are great jobs and opportunities for peace loving people including Arabs, in Israel. This is partly why Palestinians lamented the building of the wall. It made it harder for them to get to their jobs in Israel; jobs where they are paid much better than in their own communities in Palestine. Until the Palestinian government prioritizes and decides to create jobs and opportunities within its own future state, for its own citizens rather than fund fanaticism, this problem will continue to get worse.

Maybe we Americans should all give up our houses to the Native Americans? Aren’t we all occupiers in a sense? They lived here first and this was their land. They too were maligned by the government and pushed off their own land. But they finally got wise and started building casinos that have enriched the lives of their people and given them economic clout. The Palestinians need to build a Harrahs in Ramallah and start spending the money to educate their people. Then and only then will the situation change.

You and I will not be able to change a situation that has been twisted and exploited by both sides in one dialogue. But I think its important to have this dialogue with each other, and perhaps enlighten ourselves or at the very least, agree to disagree. There is an excellent book called "One Palestine Complete" by Tom Segev about the occupation of Palestine under the British mandate. It actually blames the British for the division between the Arabs and the Jews in that area. The BBC in its relentless daily condemnations of Israel, takes no responsibility for it's own governments divisive and anti-semitic actions in the name of Imperialism.

Until each one of us, including Jews and Arabs worldwide are willing to stand up and take responsibility for our failures, mistakes and needless acts of violence, the violence will continue, unfortunately unabated. And when the beach front Harrahs and Hard Rock Cafe are built in the Gaza strip and tourists are finally made to feel safe in Palestine, I hope to be one of the first bands to play there. I will proudly play "Let there be Peace on earth" and hope for once that its message will finally be heard, loud and clear.

Why I hate Ann Coulter and you should too.

It’s not unusual for people to mobilize after a tragedy. Many people, after having lost children or loved ones to sudden death have gone on to focus their energies on prevention, healing and public education.

After the death of six-year-old Adam Walsh in 1981, his father, John went on to spur the formation of The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). He became an advocate for victim’s rights and went on to host the TV show, America’s Most Wanted. When 13 year old Cari Lightner was killed by a drunk driver in 1979, her mother Candace and many other enraged mothers formed a group called MADD. ( Mothers against drunk driving.) After the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson in 1992, Denise Brown and other family members formed the Nicole Brown Charitable Foundation, which provides safe houses for victims of domestic violence.

These are just a few examples of how shattered and heartbroken people have found strength in mobilizing and have created causes that are near and dear to them. So I find it curious and sickening that Ann Coulter has chosen to insult and vilify certain widows of 9/11 victims.

Coulter writes in a new book, “Godless: The Church of Liberalism,” that a group of New Jersey widows whose husbands perished in the World Trade Center act “as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them.” She goes on to call four 9/11 widows “self-obsessed broads; millionaires - reveling in their status as celebrities.

“I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much . . . And by the way, how do we know their husbands weren’t planning to divorce these harpies? Now that their shelf life is dwindling, they’d better hurry up and appear in Playboy.”

It is apparent that Coulter is jealous of the attention that these 9/11 widows are receiving. (Several appeared on Larry King Live earlier this week.) While Coulter has to rely on sensationalism and insults to get press, these four widows have bravely chosen to use their personal losses in a public way, demanding answers about what happened to their loved ones in the World Trade Center disaster.

Almost every American remembers what he or she was doing on the moment the first plane struck the World Trade Center. Human beings worldwide were united in their heartbreak and millions came to NYC to visit the steaming ruins of the crash site, weeks and months after it happened. Regardless of party affiliation, race or economic standing, American citizens seemed to be wounded. People were driving more courteously. People sobbed openly in airports and markets as they read newspapers and watched television footage in disbelief. Even in Belfast, Ireland where this writer was on tour at the time of the tragedy, strangers came up and hugged me when they heard me speaking English. It seemed the whole world had been given a healthy dose of compassion. Everyone it seems, except Ann Coulter who must have slept through the entire event.

To blame victims for their own demise is not a new tactic. Right-wingers such as Jerry Falwell have laid the blame on the gay community for the AIDS epidemic. Right wing conservatives have blamed prostitutes for their own murders at the hands of maniacs like Gary Ridgeway. Holocaust revisionists and deniers often blame the Jews for their own annihilation during the holocaust. Anti-Israel activists and most recently, the President of Iran have said that the Jews use the holocaust to spread guilt so that no one can oppose Israeli policies. (Two very different things btw; Jews and Israeli policy.)

I think it’s disgusting that Ann Coulter uses the misery of someone else to sell her vitriolic venom in book form. Her book continues to sell at a rapid pace, but at what cost? She reaps the benefits of the deaths of innocent men and women in 9/11 at the same time as she tramples on the tears of their children and loved ones left behind.
While I am certainly not a fan of Cindy Sheehan and her practice of blurring the lines between Iraq and Israel, I still respect her as a mother making the ultimate sacrifice; losing a son to a needless, thankless war. I may not agree with many of her political views but I would never have the gall to accuse her of “enjoying her son’s death.”

Whether we agree with the 9/11 widows or not, is irrelevant. They lost loved ones through no fault of their own. Children will go to sleep tonight without their mommies and daddies to tuck them in. Kids will graduate and marry without a parent to walk them down the aisle or offer a helping hand. Babies were born without ever meeting their fathers. For these reasons alone, the widows should be treated with compassion and heart.

What’s next for Ann? Maybe she can start picketing the memorials for the fallen victims of 9/11 like the Westboro Baptist Church pickets the funerals of fallen gay and lesbian soldiers. They too, think it’s acceptable and reasonable to verbally abuse the dead and their families.

Ann Coulter has crossed the line of decency. All humans with a beating heart should be appalled. Whether you are Republican, Democrat, Libertarian or don’t vote at all, matters not. Your sense of compassion and reverence for the dead should cause you to boycott Coulters books. She was fired (and rightfully so) by USA Today for some of the insults she slung at women who attended the Democratic convention. You can fire her too. Keep her off your reading lists and your bookshelves. Send your money instead to a World Trade Center Memorial Fund or to the NYC Firefighters association who give their lives daily, trying to save the dying. Her comments are insensitive and unnecessary. She doesn’t need to insult grieving widows to sell her crappy books.

Or, does she??

Candye Kane

The following is the statement from the 9/11 widows in response to Coulters vitriolic name-calling as published in the New York Post:


We did not choose to become widowed on September 11, 2001. The attack, which tore our families apart and destroyed our former lives, caused us to ask some serious questions regarding the systems that our country has in place to protect its citizens.

Through our constant research, we came to learn how the protocols were supposed to have worked. Thus, we asked for an independent commission to investigate the loopholes which obviously existed and allowed us to be so utterly vulnerable to terrorists. Our only motivation ever was to make our Nation safer. Could we learn from this tragedy so that it would not be repeated?

We are forced to respond to Ms. Coulter’s accusations to set the record straight because we have been slandered.

Contrary to Ms. Coulter’s statements, there was no joy in watching men that we loved burn alive. There was no happiness in telling our children that their fathers were never coming home again. We adored these men and miss them every day.

It is in their honor and memory, that we will once again refocus the Nation’s attention to the real issues at hand: our lack of security, leadership and progress in the five years since 9/11.

We are continuously reminded that we are still a nation at risk. Therefore, the following is a partial list of areas still desperately in need of attention and public outcry. We should continuously be holding the feet of our elected officials to the fire to fix these shortcomings.

1. Homeland Security Funding based on risk. Inattention to this area causes police officers, firefighters and other emergency/first responder personnel to be ill equipped in emergencies. Fixing this will save lives on the day of the next attack.

2. Intelligence Community Oversight. Without proper oversight, there exists no one joint, bicameral intelligence panel with power to both authorize and appropriate funding for intelligence activities. Without such funding we are unable to capitalize on all intelligence community resources and abilities to thwart potential terrorist attacks. Fixing this will save lives on the day of the next attack.

3. Transportation Security. There has been no concerted effort to harden mass transportation security. Our planes, buses, subways, and railways remain under-protected and highly vulnerable. These are all identifiable soft targets of potential terrorist attack. The terror attacks in Spain and London attest to this fact. Fixing our transportation systems may save lives on the day of the next attack.

4. Information Sharing among Intelligence Agencies. Information sharing among intelligence agencies has not improved since 9/11. The attacks on 9/11 could have been prevented had information been shared among intelligence agencies. On the day of the next attack, more lives may be saved if our intelligence agencies work together.

5. Loose Nukes. A concerted effort has not been made to secure the thousands of loose nukes scattered around the world – particularly in the former Soviet Union. Securing these loose nukes could make it less likely for a terrorist group to use this method in an attack, thereby saving lives.

6. Security at Chemical Plants, Nuclear Plants, Ports. We must, as a nation, secure these known and identifiable soft targets of Terrorism. Doing so will save many lives.

7. Border Security. We continue to have porous borders and INS and Customs systems in shambles. We need a concerted effort to integrate our border security into the larger national security apparatus.

8. Civil Liberties Oversight Board. Given the President’s NSA Surveillance Program and the re-instatement of the Patriot Act, this Nation is in dire need of a Civil Liberties Oversight Board to insure that a proper balance is found between national security versus the protection of our constitutional rights.

-- September 11th Advocates

Kristen Breitweiser
Patty Casazza
Monica Gabrielle
Mindy Kleinberg
Lorie Van Auken

news from the midwest tour

We’ve been having a great tour out here so far. Amazing attendance and wonderful CD buying people. Thank you ALL so much!

The tour started out great with our show in Des Moines. T Bone came down from Blues wax and we had a fun night with our buddy Jeff Wagner and his pickled body parts collection!?

The next night was Lincoln Gay Pride. It was so much fun! The University of Nebraska at Lincoln was the first college to offer Gay and Lesbian studies as a major. Amazing that this happened in Lincoln, birthplace of Teena Brandon 1972-1993, the heroine of the movie Boys Don’t Cry, who was brutally murdered in nearby Falls City. All of my Lincoln friends were there, Jan, Rick, Gayle, Kara and Kelly, and I made a bunch of new friends and saw a fabulous singer songwriter, misty odell; http://www.mistysmusic.com/ It was a beautiful day in the sunshine with children, puppies and drag queens in full attendance. I hung out until the wee hours at the Panic Bar with my pals and met some really interesting people. Len, is a 70 year old farmer and peace activist who had to go home early to tend to his new baby calf and Marc Schroll who is a sci fi writer. He writes books about alien life. I asked him if he had A) ever been abducted and B) ever had an anal probe. His answers were no and yes. Very interesting!

The next two nights were at the Zoo Bar, the famous blues club of Lincoln. I have been playing the Zoo since 1990 and its always a great time. Lady Bianca came down to see us, http://www.ladybianca.com/She’s an awesome singer and pianist from Oakland, Ca who happened to be on tour at the same time. We had so much fun with our normal wild crowd down at the Zoo. Lincoln is still my favorite city in the Midwest.

After the show that night, I ate a gyro and ended up having a horrible gall bladder attack that landed me in the Emergency Room. I was surprised when the intake worker said “Hey, aren’t you Candye Kane? I have all your records! I’m a big fan!” She came and asked for my autograph while I was laying on a gurney with an IV in my arm! She was funny but I can imagine how irritated “real” stars must get if they get bothered by fans even when they are in severe pain like I was. Soon, they gave me the morphine and my pain was a distant memory but I still felt like crap two nights later in Springfield, Illinois where I played with Dwayne Burnside from Memphis. Dwayne is quite the ladies man and I dug his grill.

Kansas City: On the 70 freeway, we saw a sign for the Testicle festival in Olean Missouri. I am dying to play this festival! I will post the picture from the billboard. I am sure it’s really a rocky mountain oyster festival but it would be great to get a t-shirt from there, at least. If anyone knows how to get me booked onto this festival, please let me know.

The show in KC was rockin! Had a packed show at Knuckleheads and I heard that the kids from the new Blues Caravan were coming down. (That’s the tour I did last year with Sue Foley and Ana Popovic.) I don’t think Ian Parker, Ainsley Lister and Erja Luitenen showed up but Little Rachel did and we had a grand ol’ time. I want to apologize to my KC fans for doing half the show sitting down. I guess I was still weaker from the ER visit than I thought or maybe all the mosquito spray I had on was poisoning me, but I thought I would pass out onstage! The audience was sweet and seemed to understand. The KC blues festival was going on and so I was real happy to have such a big crowd. My friend Janniva Magness was playing at the festival the next night. Don’t know who I have to sleep with to get on that festival but I sure would love to play it!

Last night was Sioux City, Iowa at the Chesterfield. Brent and Paula used to have the Attic across the river and their new venue is just amazing. Hung out with Rob the great sound man and met cutie pie’s Mick, the bartender and Dennis who helped sell cds for me. We had a young pianist, Chris Bueller sit in from Omaha. He plays in a band from Omaha, called the Shakey Boys. They were quite good. Chris is just 20 years old and he prefers organ. But I hope he works on his left hand because he really needs to learn to boogie woogie. Then maybe I will take him on the road.

Financially, the tour has gone better than expected, THANK GODDESS. Gas prices are lower than I budgeted. (3$ instead of 4$) But we are only half way through. We still have to go to Milwaukee, Ann Arbor, Angola, Columbus and Cleveland before we end up back at home next week.

I am feeling a lot better since my bout with my gall bladder. I am modifying my diet and am trying to become a vegetarian. I am now committed to avoiding foods that had fur. I think this is a positive step towards better health for me. I don’t ever want that kind of pain again. I am much better but Evan is sick with bronchitis right now and that must be hard to play drums when you’re hacking up science projects; but like mother like son - that boy is a trouper.

Back on the home front, my house is all rebuilt after the fire and it doesn’t smell like smoke at all! I am really looking forward to getting back home and having some time on my beach this summer. I am also very proud of my youngest son Tommy. He just made the honor roll and got a special award for Math and Leadership. He will attend a Berklee School of Music workshop in Fullerton this summer and hopefully attend Berklee in the fall of ’07. He is home alone so much. It is a real testament to his dedication and determination that he made the honor roll. He is one smart and talented cookie. Check out his band skanktuary on my top 8 friends on myspace.

That’s all for now. Thanks to all of you who spend your hard earned money to see us! We just added a bay area gig on July 7th at the Center for Sex and Culture. www.sexandculture.org just before our Reno Show on July 8.
Please come down and support this wonderful center funded by good vibrations and my friends Carol Queen, Robert Lawrence and Scarlot Harlot.
Happiest of birthdays to all my Gemini and Cancer friends this month.
Love and Kisses,
Candye Kane in Milwaukee