Thursday, August 10, 2006

An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind

An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind.

I cant watch the news anymore. Whenever I watch it, I end up tossing and turning all night with nightmares. When I was a kid, I used to have this recurring dream. I would be driving in a beautiful red convertible. The top was down and the air felt wonderful and warm in my hair. I am enjoying the sunshine and smiling and laughing when suddenly there is a huge flash of light as in an explosion, and the dream ends there. I never really knew what the dream meant, but now with all this bullshit about the "end times" and the "rapture"; people I thought were cool enlightened friends becoming proselytizing bible thumpers and my left wing intellectual friends becoming israel and jew haters, I am thinking maybe mankind really is headed for a nuclear final act and there aint gonna be no encores.

I have never let anyones religion, age, education, economic status, size, color, sexual preference, manner of clothing, job choice or lack thereof interfere with the dialogue. I believe there is something to be learned from everyone. Even people who seem "boring" on the surface, can prove to be deeper than I imagined. People who seem simple can teach me simplicity. People who seem hostile can become warm by sharing a good joint of skunk bud or a funny comeback. But this new person who thinks their God is better than my God, or my lack of a God at all, this new person who thinks indigenous peoples who have never been exposed to Christianity are going to burn in hell as heathens, this new religious fanatic who thinks dying is the coolest way to prove his point and wants to take out innocent people with them, I just dont see how we can ever win any kind of war or make any kind of point with an enemy like that. An enemy who is willing to explode themselves and take everyone else around with them. I just dont see how anyones "God" could condone taking innocent life and why anyone would voluntarily worship a mean, vindictive and fucked up God like that. I have never bought into the whole heaven and hell bullshit but now that somebodys god has gone a step further and seems to condone making a hell right here on earth, I really want to challenge this God to a good old fashioned ass kicking in the alley.

It seems the news channels just contribute to the problem. They offer no solutions they just report stories and sometimes only half of the story. When news organizations like Reuters are doctoring up photographs of Beirut to make Israel look worse, how can we even trust our evening news?

I am tired of reading blogs where they blame the whole Lebanon - Israel crisis on two soldiers being kidnapped. Eight Israeli soldiers were killed and two were kidnapped. Hezbollah then ordered Israel to release prisoners in Israeli jails as a negotiation tactic. When has kidnapping ever been a viable means of negotiation? If these prisoners in jails really dont belong there, isnt there some other channel of diplomacy that can be employed besides kidnapping? If kidnapping is the way to get people out of jail, why do we need King Stahlman Bail Bondsman? If kidnapping is the way to get people out of jail, I have a couple of friends in the can right now. Maybe I should look to kidnap somebody. I do live in Oceanside right by Camp Pendleton. I could probably kidnap a big marine and demand that my dope dealer be released from jail. Maybe I could also get him to move that big bookshelf while he is hanging out here. I just dont think it would work. Why does Hezbollah think it will work and why do liberals seem to think Israel should just sit around and take it?

And I am tired of hearing about how more Lebanese have died than Israelis, how more Iraqis have died than Americans, how more Palestinians have died than Israelis. When did the goal become "kill as many as possible?" He who has the most dead wins? when did the goal become tit for tat, an eye for an eye, equal damage for equal crimes? It doesnt make sense. NOBODY should be dying for any government or religious cause. When I have friends who are fighting cancer, lou gehrigs disease and AIDS right now who want desperately to live, how can anyone be dying anywhere? The insanity of it all makes me feel so helpless and crazy. How do kids grow up with any goals at all in such a world?

War sucks. Innocent people die. Countries have a right to defend themselves. When Hezbollah kidnapped the soldiers they were trying to provoke a response; thats why they did it. They wanted Israel to react. Maybe even overreact. Six million Jews were killed in the Holocaust. The Jewish population in the world today is only 4%. So yes, when eight Jews are killed, maybe the Israeli government does freak out and think "six million are gone. we cant afford to lose these eight more." Maybe they do react strongly because they have been attacked over and over again by their neighbors.

I just dont understand why its Israels fault that the Lebanese government didnt build any bombshelters for their people. Why is it Israels fault that the Palestinian govt kept all their world wide aid money and didnt build new buildings and bomb shelters? Maybe Israel should go into the countries that are attacking them and pay for bomb shelters to be built so less people will die when Israel retaliates when they are attacked!

It is so crazy and convoluted it makes me want to scream.

I grew up in a neighborhood where violence happened all the time. My friend edwin was shot on the corner in front of my high school when I was 14 years old and he was 16 in broad daylight, in plain view of my history class. He was crossing the street and boom, boom, boom he was shot at by a passing car. Someone from the Cypress Avenues had shot him because he was from the Highland Park gang. somebody from Highland Park had shot someone from the Avenues because someone from the Avenues had shot someone from HLP. It just went on and on and continues to go on today. No one even remembers who the original one was that got murdered. Its all revenge killing, tit for tat, an eye for an eye. Thats where we are headed now. When we cant even sit down and talk with someone else who has a different opinion; when we cant relate to someone who believes in a different god or needs no god to feel safe; when we cant make friends with someone because that person would rather die than be our friend, we are really headed for trouble. An eye for an eye will make everybody blind. Today being blind to the whole damn thing feels like the right move for me.